Tuesday 21 April 2009

Single mother to be, by choice or not; and ways to deal with the problems faced during this time

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Has anyone ever thought what a single mother would face while shes nurturing a new born in her womb... There are already so many single mothers to be, and i would definitely like to take you all into the world of that not so lucky women who wont be having a loving husband beside her when she needs love, care and support the most. Some of them by choice, some have no option. Sometimes a husband who works out of town leaves his wife to take care of herself. Some women have the support of the father but sometimes the father isn't willing to marry, sometimes the mother isn't willing to marry. . So either ways, the women is alone and has to bare her baby as a single parent. Here are factors the mother-to-be needs to deal with, especially when society and health is concerned.

Firstly dealing with family and society: Your family maybe against your decisions to have the baby alone or even against your pregnancy, but you should to try and know their reasons and deal with their objections in a sensible way. You have to either accept their disapproval or just ignore it when you have no choice. This is about you and your baby, and this is your decision right?

Your society or work place can be a nosy bit sometimes. Just bother to only answer questions and talk about things your are comfortable with regarding your personal life to those who are truly concerned for you. Not everyone is genuine when it comes to being a little too friendly in your society or work place :-)

Secondly, you are not alone and have preparing for baby alone is quite a task. Decide who would be with you during labor or how would you get there. Chose a trustworthy friend to be with you while in hospital or during times you need a helping hand, someone who is experienced, most importantly. Book two ways of transport, in case one fails, the other would be available for you to be taken to hospital in the absence of a near one.

There wouldn't be any issues at the hospital as the nurses and doctors should treat patients equally, whether a single or married mother. If you face issues, face them firmly and only stick to what your reasons for being in hospital are.

Thirdly, bringing home baby after the delivery is a challenge to any single mother. From handling the hospital discharge papers, to handling baby alone would be tiresome and mostly confusing. If the baby's father isn't with you, this calls for help because you've just given birth and you deserve all the rest possible for a week or two. Let your family members take over some of the responsibilities if they are willing to, don't hesitate to ask for any help from them. If there is no family member's available, consider hiring a help until you're back to shape.

Your personal worries:
The times have changed, if you're worrying about how would the child have to face the reality of not having a father, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins etc etc.. Your close ones(your friends, close relatives) could take on an important part in the upbringing of the child. Let them be as loving and giving and take on an active role in the child's life. Am sure the child wouldn't miss out on anything if a mother, the closest to the child is there always with him/her :-)

Hmmmm.. i guess for your legal concerns, a lawyer would be a sensible decision, don't you think? but if you are a single parent.. we would all love to know how you handled the situation as a mother-to-be and after :-)

4 comments:

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